For years I have been so disheartened to see the divorce statistics among Christians is actually slightly higher than the divorce rate among non-believers. We can attribute it to many things; we can blame it on the popularity and acceptance of cohabitation (living together outside of marriage). But, it still is just not right. Why is it that there is no difference among Christians? Why is it that we can't "walk out" His Word and His ways? Shouldn’t we, as Christians, although not perfect… shouldn’t we hold to a higher standard? Doesn’t God’s Word work for us? Isn’t the covenant of marriage and the vows that we pledge in front of God, family, friends, and a man of God sacred? Doesn’t it mean anything anymore? I believe that we, as Christians, have allowed culture, once again, to influence and shape our views and pervert what God intends. God is FOR marriage… His plan is for the two to become one and united so that they can accomplish MORE for the kingdom. (Deut. 32:30 says one can put a thousand to flight (wow!), but TWO can put TEN THOUSAND to flight (Amazing!).) The power of marriage is exponential! Amazing to think about what TWO can do. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 also states that two is better than one. There are many reasons: the reward for your labor is greater; you have a constant supporter and helper; you have a constant source of warmth and can have your needs met; there is more strength in two; and, two united cannot easily be overpowered. I think most of us get married with visions of this type of relationship: growing strong together, united completely, and ready to withstand whatever the enemy hurls at us. But somewhere along the line the enemy gets in and creates a crack in the foundation. And then the crack becomes a fault – and then it becomes a chasm. And then we got into survival mode and it’s difficult to see anything beyond the chasm. Married people.. it’s time to UNITE and stop letting the enemy overpower you. It is worth it! For the sake of your heritage (your children and the generations that follow), don’t give up! Husbands and wives, commit yourselves to the marriage covenant and to the health of your relationship. You may be right, but do you want to be standing alone declaring your mantra that you were right? Or are you willing to let things go, compromise, and stand united, ready to put ten thousand to flight? There is no room for selfishness in a God-centered, big picture marriage. When you said “I do,” that was a commitment to meet the needs of your spouse. (The book “His Needs, Her Needs” by William Hartley is an excellent read.) It was not a commitment to evaluate your spouse to see how well they are meeting your needs. It wasn’t a promise to always feel warm and fuzzy and fluttery when you look at your spouse. It was a commitment to one another! You are committed to that person with all their faults and short-comings. You are making a pledge to a covenant relationship with this person. And in a culture that doesn’t understand the value of that or the foundation for a Godly marriage, you’re going to need to work at it! Purpose to be around other GODLY couples that model a healthy marriage. Read books together. Pray together. Spend time with one another. Make your relationship an evident priority. Speak your spouse’s love language. (The book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Smalley is excellent.) I am committed to my husband. I am committed to his well-being and health. I am his help mate and am committed to supporting him and cheering him on in his endeavors.
I know this posting is rambling a bit, but it has been on my mind…. I have more to post. I am also disheartened at the focus and energy that is placed on the wedding production and the built-up fairy-tale portrayal of the bride. But that is another post for another day!
